Spider Solitaire: A Metaphor for Life 

I've been playing Spider Solitaire for years - first on my desktop computer and then on my iPad. This year Spider Solitaire started a new game called the daily challenge. Every daily challenge is a "winning deal". You earn a crown by winning the game. If you've ever played Spider Solitaire you know that just because it's a winning deal, doesn't mean you'll win. 

Some of the daily challenge games are easy, and can be won the first try. Others take days or weeks for me to master. For example, the June 14th game. The only play to start is to move a black 3 onto a red 4, then deal another set. I played that hand multiple times on June 14th, and at least once a day since then. Today, July 2nd, I finally won the hand. Big deal, right? Right. But here's what I learned from playing Spider Solitaire, the secret to both the game and life. Perspective. Yep, perspective.

The way I win these difficult hands is I see a move I didn't see before. I start in a different place. I choose this 10 of spades instead of that one, opening up more moves. I have a different perspective.

How many times would this strategy help us at work? With our family? With a difficult sales clerk? On an 800 call where we just want to speak to a live representative? They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over expecting different results. I argue it's not always insanity. Sometimes it's just lack of seeing another way. 

We all know people that seem to be sandpaper to our journey. They slow us down. They make us reflect. They rub us the wrong way, over and over again. What if we saw them with a new perspective? What if we changed our game plan with them? Instead of being defensive and angry, what if we took a deep breath and reminded ourselves they are dealing with issues we know nothing about? What if we remind ourselves that their unhappiness and unpleasantness has absolutely nothing to do with us? That's right, nothing. As Don Miguel Ruiz says in his book The Four Agreements,"Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves."

If we remind ourselves of that over and over when dealing with difficult, rude, or insensitive people, we will see how the path opens up like a game of Spider Solitaire. The opening may be the path to improved communication with them. The path may be that we are less affected by them mentally and emotionally. What other perspective can we bring to the game?  What other moves can we make so the path to the win will open before us?